In what could be the culminating days of a long and tragic legal battle there will be no winners. But the case involving Terri Schiavo can impact each of us for the better by spurring us into action to avoid similar scenarios in our own families.

Twelve years ago, Terri Schiavo was in seemingly good health and likely considered the subject of illness and death only in the abstract. Who can blame her? Like so many people who enjoy good health, even talking about illness and end-of-life care is a depressing, even taboo, topic – one best avoided or put off to later.

Unfortunately, because Terri Schiavo did not make a written record of her wishes in advance, when she became unable to speak for herself, it fell to family members, physicians, lawyers, ethicists and judges to decide. Thus followed years of entirely avoidable legal strife and family suffering.

There is a clear lesson to be drawn from this sad story. Regardless of your age or health status, take the time now to think about and decide what kind of care you want in the event you become seriously ill and unable to make decisions for yourself. Do not be afraid to talk frankly with your spouse, family, clergy and doctor about your preferences.

Then, fill out an advance directive document and name a health care agent (the person you name who will make decisions for you if you cannot). These advance directives are easy to complete, legally valid and they clearly communicate to doctors and others what you want and do not want.

Life is sacred. It should be protected and preserved, and the God-given dignity of every person should be respected, particularly at the end of life.

Most people, when asked, say they would want to die in their own home; to be surrounded by family and loved ones; to be free from pain; and to have people praying for them. Unfortunately, this is far from the reality in most instances. Yet the majority of us remain silent on some of the most important decisions of our lives – how we would want to be cared for in case of a serious illness.

There is some good news to report. A growing number of Americans are asserting their right to make their own decisions about the kind of end-of-life care they want and do not want. More than three million have used the Five Wishes advance directive in less than five years. Hundreds of enlightened companies across America – including Delta Air Lines, the US State Department and MTV headquarters in New York – are giving advance directives to employees and their families.

This discussion and planning should be at the top of everyone’s “To Do” list. The topic is likely to be in the news in the coming days – you can use that as a springboard for the conversation.

Although there will be no winners in the legal outcome that will determine Terri Schiavo’s future, we can all take something from this heartbreaking epic. Some decisions are too important to leave to someone else. Now is the time to make your wishes known. Consider it a gift to yourself as well as your loved ones.

Paul Malley is president of Aging with Dignity, a Florida-based national advocate for better care at the end of life. Aging with Dignity created and distributes the Five Wishes advance directive, which is used by more than three million American families to plan for care in case of a serious illness. For information, go to www.agingwithdignity.org, or call 1-(888) 5-WISHES (594-7437).

Copyright © 2003, the Tampa Tribune

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