What if I have more questions?
What is Five Wishes?
Five Wishes is an easy-to-use legal document that lets you plan in advance for how you
want to be cared for in case you become seriously ill.
Some people refer to it as an “advance directive” because when you
complete Five Wishes you give direction to you doctor and family, in advance, on how you
want to be treated. There are five wishes in
this document:
- Wish One lets you choose the person you want to make decisions for you
when you can’t make them for yourself. Lawyers
call it a “durable power of attorney for health care.”
-
- Wish Two is a living will. It
lets you put in writing the kind of medical treatment you want or don’t want if you
become seriously ill and can’t communicate to anyone.
-
- Wishes Three and Four let you describe in
detail how you want to be treated so that your dignity can be
maintained.
-
- Wish Five gives you a chance to tell others how you want to be
remembered, and express other things that might be in your heart, like forgiveness.
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Why should I fill out
Five Wishes?
Without an advance directive like Five Wishes, you may have no control over
important medical care decisions that will be made if you ever get seriously ill
–
such as
whether to give you life-support treatment or aggressively treat your pain. You may think your wishes are similar to those of
other people and that your loved ones and doctors will automatically know what you want
when you are very ill. That’s not true.
In reality, everyone has different wishes and
yours won’t be followed unless you make them clear.
For example, your dying process could be artificially prolonged even though
you may have wanted a natural death. Not
expressing your wishes can put your family, friends and doctor in the difficult position
of guessing what kind of treatment you want, which could lead to disagreements. Completing
Five Wishes gives you control over your
care and peace of mind for you and your loved ones.
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When do I need to use Five Wishes?
The best time to fill out Five Wishes is before you face a health crisis. The best place to fill out
Five Wishes is at home
– not a hospital. You never know when
you are going to need Five Wishes, and many people put it off until it’s too late. If you are over age 18, you should complete
Five
Wishes now. If you are married, both you and
your spouse need to fill out your own Five Wishes.
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When does Five Wishes take effect?
You will always make your own health care decisions if you are able to talk with your
doctor and understand what is being said.
Five
Wishes only takes effect when you are too ill to communicate. So if you have a stroke and can’t speak, or
are in a coma, then your Five Wishes, and the person you chose to be your health care
agent, can help direct your care with your doctor.
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Is Five Wishes a legal document?
Yes. It was written with the help of the
American Bar Association’s Commission on Law & Aging.
It meets legal requirements under the advance directive
statutes in most states (see list on page 3 of the Five Wishes document). Just follow the directions when you sign it.
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What if I don’t live in a
Five
Wishes state?
There are some states that require you to use their own legal forms to express your wishes
and so you should use their forms and sign those forms.
But you should also fill out Five Wishes because it can help make clear to
your family, friends and doctor what you want.
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How do I use Five Wishes?
Take the following steps to use Five Wishes:
-
Review
the document
-
Fill
it out
-
Follow
directions for signing it
-
Discuss
it with your health care agent and doctor and give each of them a copy
-
Make
sure a copy of your Five Wishes is placed in your medical file by your doctor
-
Discuss
Five Wishes with your family and friends and give them a copy
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Does filling out
Five Wishes guarantee
that my wishes will be followed?
Your doctor is required to follow your wishes according to the laws of your
state. Each state has its own rules and
conditions that a doctor must observe, and so your doctor has the final word on when your
living will takes effect. To do all you can
to have your wishes followed, make sure you do three things:
Pick a health care agent (Wish One), tell him or her
about your wishes and confirm they will speak for you if you ever get sick
Tell this person that hospitals, hospices and
nursing homes have ethics committees that can help settle any disagreements with doctors
or family members.
Discuss your wishes with your doctor, family and
friends before you get sick
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Which is better to have: a living will or a health care agent?
The health care agent and the living will go hand-in-hand, and you are usually better off
with both. You need to have a health care
agent there to speak for you when you can’t speak for yourself, and you need a living
will that expresses in writing your wishes. When
you are sick, your medical condition can be very complicated and can change suddenly. The law generally requires your agent to make
decisions that he or she feels you would have made if you could talk. The more information your agent has, the better.
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What if I fill out
Five Wishes and
later change my mind?
You can change your wishes any time you want. It
is a good idea to review and update your Five Wishes at least once a year. You may want to do that more often if your health
changes or you change your mind. When you
make changes, be sure to inform your health care agent, family, friends and doctor. Destroy all out-of-date copies of the
document and distribute copies of your new Five Wishes.
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If I am seriously ill, what can I do
to make sure that I won’t be in pain?
Most people who are very sick want to be kept comfortable and alert, and surrounded by
friends. Great progress has been made in our
health care system to treat illnesses, but unfortunately there can be more attention paid
to your treatment than your comfort. So make
it very clear to you doctor, health care agent and family that you don’t want to be
in pain.
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Do I have to have my
Five Wishes
notarized?
Not unless you live in one of the few states that is listed in the notarization section of
Five Wishes. Simply follow the directions on
the signature page and you’ll be safe.
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What if I travel a lot?
Will my
Five Wishes be honored wherever I go?
If you travel a lot, take a copy of Five Wishes with you in case you become seriously ill. Your document will be legally valid in any of the
states listed on page 3 of Five Wishes. If
you travel to a state that is not listed, then you still may be protected by your
Five
Wishes document. Most states have laws that
are designed to honor your wishes no matter how you express them. But to be safe, if you are going to be staying
for an extended period of time in a non-Five Wishes state, then it’s a good idea to
fill out that state’s required forms.
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Who developed Five Wishes?
Five Wishes was created by the non-profit Aging with Dignity, a leading
advocate for the needs of elders and those who care for them. Aging with Dignity founder Jim Towey created
Five
Wishes with the help of doctors, nurses, lawyers and other experts in end-of-life care to
help people of all ages get the treatment they want if they get seriously ill.
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Jim is an attorney who worked twelve years for
Mother Teresa of Calcutta and worked one year in her home for the dying in Washington,
D.C. His experiences with Mother Teresa and
her home are why
Five Wishes looks at the personal, emotional, and spiritual needs of a
person – and not just the medical ones. This
is important because people are most concerned about maintaining comfort and dignity when
they are very sick.
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What if I have more questions?
You may talk with a lawyer or health care professional for advice.
If you want more information,
visit our home page by clicking here, or
click here
to contact us
directly.
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